Right now :
Desperately trying to get my shit together, but also wanting to embrace the unemployed status and lifestyle ..
At the moment I sit at my desk with the moon as the only source of light shining into my room. I'm content listening to The Temptations greatest hits and appreciating the silhouette of the bouquet of roses Josh bought for me on Valentines day, and the collection of glass bottles and second-hand ceramic wine bottles. Gotta love defined shapes!
My room appears chaotic. Which is the state is has been in for the past 3 years. My focus and attention span does not last very long. I have never been able to complete a task and there are two reasons that come to mind. One, I find something new I want to pursue (distractions). Two, I get lazy or bored. Oh, the third reason would be I continually make plans to do other things beside it. I guess beginning with a lack of determination inevitably ends in my unfinished tasks. I've told my friend I would, without fail rearrange and redecorate my room this month. I also said that last month. And there have been breakthroughs and some kind of progress. But I will be honest, every step I take, I take 3 backwards. Which means I haven't gotten very far. At times, I overexert myself and my brain fails to comprehend anything. Other times, which is most of the time, I panic and have mini anxiety attacks and go into an emotional spiral. My poor unfortunate friends who have to endure me ..
Much like this post, I have no structure in my life right now.
Time to get a moment's shuteye ;)
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