That time of the year.

Tan 'leather' jacket mum bought for me on bridge roaf for $39.
Over-sized knit for $8 from Savers.
Sunflower knitted cardi $4 from Salvos.



























































Over my many mad splurges at Diva, this is me cutting down. Love this time of the year though, despite my dresser overflooding with accessories I can never get enough. And I think its me expressing my desperate need to shop, like really shop.

2 x set of bangles
3 X necklaces
3 x rings

= :) ... (Orginal Price $172)

Oh passion, where art thou?

I've been so lost lately. I'm always lost, but this time it's in regards to my passion and future in design. I am in my third year at RMIT undertaking a bachelor of design in Interior Design. In year 12, it's not what I wanted, but somehow my initial desire to be an architect, at present doesn't seem to be a good idea anyway. I loved and would like to think that I was fairly talented in graphic design and photography. At least my passion for it burned very brightly. I don't recall being very excited with my architectural assignments I did in visual & communication classes. Only the graphic components.

The past few years I've found it really hard to motivate myself to do work. I'd love to be an architect and an interior designer. The title no doubt sounds grand, and being equipped with the skills and knowledge in this discipline of design would indeed be verrrry verryyy, very awesome. I come across a range of interior and architectural works and everytime, I would burn with inspiration. But not motivation. I get excited about it. But when it comes to uni, I can never bring enough to the table. I am always missing some element in the process or whatever.

It seems though, just the past 2 weeks, I've made a turn. From doing very badly in my midsemester presentation, my tutors Jhana and Rosie have said that I'm much more enthusiastic, showing a lot of excitement, producing great ideas and am speaking confidently for the first time about my work. They're excited to see my end project. So you can imagine how awesome I felt, or am feeling. So yes, I have miraculously found the smallest ounce of motivation and put some effort into working hard. Not long left to go.

Tmrw : One presentation down
Friday: Handing in of the second presentation
Monday: Second presentation down
Tuesday: Preliminary presentation down
June 11th : Final presentation .. (Folios on the 18th of June)

Hectic ..

.. Is the the almost perfect way to describe the state of everything at the moment. This coming week is the last week of class for uni, and then for most uni-goers swotvac weeks begins, counting down towards midyear exams. For those design students like myself, its cramming as much tutorials and working towards preliminary presentations, final hand-ins and minor presentations, AND THEN pulling our best efforts together for the final presention. After that, its pretty much exhibtion and the handing in of the semesters portfoilo, easily done.
I've got so much to do, yet the number of things swimming around madly in my mind would resemble some sort of a massive traffic conjestion. At least after this week, it will be two less classes to worry about - sort of.



I can't wait for it to slow down, for it to stop.
I can't wait for freedom to hit.
I can't wait to get away.

Progress

It takes one bad or crap thing to lose sight of the good things in life. Well for me it does. Once that streak of lovely events comes to a sudden halt, I dive into a repetitive state of pessimism and negativity. Not because its easier than confronting everything, but just because I do. I am with great shame, weak. However, I can proudly say that the duration of these morbid periods are becoming shorter and shorter. That is progress right? Whats that quote or saying .. Some progress is better than none at all. - Or somethings, are better than nothing.
Apart from the shittiness recently, I'm rediscovering my long lost passion for design (touch wood - lets see how long this lasts) and I'm doing better in uni. On friday I had my best tutorial all semester. Maybe I can aim high this time and for once I actually believe that it is possible for me to achieve that.

Today was awesome :)

Monbulk

A rural town just out of Belgrave, Victoria, that I've been exploring for a project.
Very nice place to get away to. God knows I need to get away.

15

Best day ever.
Happy 15 months baby,
I love you.

A song Josh played for me

It's okay to have scars, they will make you who you are
It's okay to have fear, as long as you're not scared of coming here
And in the middle of the night, just call if you wanna talk
'Cause you know that I wanna talk too

It's not bad of you to think of what might go wrong
But you can't blame me for secretly hoping that I'll prove you wrong
It's okay that I pray that you will miss your flight
And have to stay with me another night

And it is brutal, it's brutal, why can't you see
It's brutal, it's brutal, where have you been
'Cause we're far apart and my lonely heart
Finds it hard to get through the night
You pull me out of the dark and now it's light
You pull me out of the dark and now it's light

When we're out in the market and out on the streets
I've got a pocket full of problems and a pocket full of seeds
Hoping something good might grow out of this mistletoe
And I won't have to erase your memory

I like the way that our arguments stop when we fall asleep
And the way that your body feels when it's wrapped around me
And I'd like it if you made it to mine by Christmas Eve
So you can hold me
And we'll watch Christmas TV

Hibernation

Watching the rain from my bed.